There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
