i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
