reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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