nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
