you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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