plz talk dirty to me
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Randomize
