Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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