im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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