i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
