Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
