im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Randomize
