were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
