it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
