I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
