It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
