Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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