that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
