we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
party gras won. party gras always wins.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
