I wish I could teleport
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I need to stop coming to work sober
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
