why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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