where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
