They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
