i'm lost and i look like a hooker
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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