omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Randomize
