What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
