Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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