Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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