she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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