As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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