Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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