We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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