Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
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