I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
