his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
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