oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
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