the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Randomize
