nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
