just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
