I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
