walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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