Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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