Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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