Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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