someone owes me an orgasm
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
