She said her name was "party"
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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