i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
