I wanna passion pit in your ass
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
