i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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