You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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