the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
