So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize