What did we do last night that was yellow?
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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