the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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