i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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