Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
