I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
