Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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