He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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