shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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