i may or may not be watching the land before time
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
