saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Randomize
