I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
