I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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